


Messed Up

by Krinix



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Amedot (mention), Crap ton of chapters but they're really short, Drug Use, Eventual Fluff, F/F, Human AU, Human Gems (Steven Universe), Pearlapis, Strong Language, alcohol use, i literally forgot to tag half of these, lapearl - Freeform, not too long
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-09
Updated: 2017-02-01
Packaged: 2018-08-14 02:12:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 14,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7994875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Krinix/pseuds/Krinix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pearl has another argument with Rose. This time she's not taking it, and she leaves, wanting a drink later on. She meets Lapis in the bar, and...stuff happens. (Not smut)<br/>Btw this has a lot of chapters, but they're pretty short.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fresh start. Old start

"It's always about him, isn't it?!"  
Pearl complained. She didn't even know what she was saying anymore, but heck, she's in a middle of an argument, and she's not going to lose to Rose _again_.

Rose sighed. She couldn't argue. It was true, and she knew it.   
"Pearl, please." She tried to calm Pearl down, but that clearly wasn't working.

"No! I'm leaving, I can't bear to see him."   
She shouted in frustration.

Before Pearl could regret it, she picked up a few belongings and slammed the door. Rose sighs, muttering under her breath. "She'll be back."

 _im not going back, even if that's the last thing I'll do_.   
She opens her car door, a bit too forceful, and sits in. She stabs in her keys and starts driving, quite recklessly.

As she drives into the night, she realises, she's lost. Not entirely, but, she's somewhere that she doesn't know how to return home to. Well, she _did_ just follow wherever the roads led her.

Soon, Pearl sees a beautiful ocean, accompanied by sand. She decides to park there.

She stays in the car, not knowing what to do. She sniffs. _I really screwed this one up._ She almost laughs, at her own stupidity. Now what does she do? Just, live in a car?  
She regrets it now, regrets leaving, regrets shouting at Rose, regrets..everything.

She looked at the calming sea, and up to the shimmering stars. But she still couldn't help herself. The tears rolled down her cheeks. She just wishes she could go back. She wants to lie down, on her soft bed, and cry there, looking at their pictures, and cringy memories they shared together, and then tomorrow, everything would be just a thing of a past, forgotten.

But now she's in her cold car, out in the open, exposed. Pearl never really liked the outside world. There were too many people, which to her, meant no privacy. The same questions flooded her mind once again.

Doesn't Rose _love_ her? Doesn't Rose _care_? Aren't they _more_ than just..friends? Even though Pearl had an unlimited amount of questions, there were no answers. _Why can't I just let her..go?_

//--//

Pearl woke up to the sound of squawking seagulls. And to the dampness of her own clothes. Her eyelids felt puffy and heavy. She didn't want to wake up. She wanted to cry a bit more. But, might as well try and get a move on.

**++**

Lapis blinked the sleep out of her eyes. She looked around. She was in someone else's house again.

She smiled, she'd made herself some money. The bed she was in was surprisingly soft and warm. She wanted to lie in there forever, but she got up and took her clothes that were scattered all around the floor. She threw them on, and felt a hand up her naked shoulders. She shivered as a voice spoke.

"Hey sweetie.." Lapis jumped, and turned around to a half naked guy on the bed.

"Hi.."   
Now it felt awkward..to her anyway.

"Here's your money for the fun last night."   
He handed Lapis a $100 bill, which Lapis took desperately.

"And uh..here's a lil something for that...extra you decided to add last night" He winked as she took the $50 bill and stuffed it in her jean pockets. The house now felt unwelcoming. She really wants to leave, _now_.

_What a way to start the morning._

As she walked out the house, she stopped to see a window that reflected herself. _How could anyone want this? Jasper did. Shut up, she's a bitch._ She kept walking, and stopped to sit down on a beaten wooden bench.

She searched her jean pockets, and found an iPhone 5, four $100 bills, 2 $50 bills, a few coins, and..a pocket knife.

She picked it out and examined it, it was quite a cool looking knife. It was leather on the outside, but if you flipped it, there was a sharp, cunning knife. She stroked the carved word on the knife. She looked at the carving. _Jasper_. She shoved the knife back in her pocket and pulled her legs towards her chest.

She felt pools forming in her eyes. _Fuck, I'm not doing this again_. she breathed out, and straightened herself up. She wiped her eyes with the back of her sleeve, clearing any tears.

She picked herself up, trying not to sulk about Jasper again, but it was hard. That woman would always pop up in her mind. Those nights, when she'd beg her to leave her alone. She shook her head. _Screw her._  
  
She walked towards an ice cream store. She ordered vanilla, her favourite.

She walked back to her bench and sat back down on it. The bench was technically her home.

As she ate her ice cream, she couldn't help but wonder.

What if she was still with Jasper? Would things be differently? How is Jasper?

Even though she and Jasper are no longer a thing, she still feels as if she's her prisoner. As if she might be here, watching her every movement. As if she was everywhere. Lapis didn't feel safe, or free. She never has, which is the most confusing thing.


	2. It's Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pearl gets in a really bad situation with..someone

It was night again. The day went really quickly for Lapis, maybe because she actually had 'fun'. She forgot what fun had felt like. She isn't even sure if she did have fun.

It was cold. Too cold. Lapis didn't want to move, she wanted to stay on the bench and curl up, but might as well try and make some money tonight.

Lapis sighed. It was time for her freedom to be gone, it was time to become an object again. A toy. A novelty.

She stood up, shaking. It was really cold. Which was weird, considering it was still summer. She collected herself and started walking towards the bar.

**++**

For Pearl the day went extremely slow. She spent the entire day pretty much just crying about Rose. She wanted to get out and buy food, but she wasn't hungry. She only went out for air for 5 minutes before she wanted to go back in her car and sulk more. It's just..She loved her so much..Why didn't Rose love her back?

Finally the stars lit up the sky instead of the sun. Pearl looked up. _This is life now. I have to get used to living in this car, living by the beach, living by..myself._  Her thoughts just made her cry even more.

Eventually, she got a grip of herself. She punched her steering wheel. _Who cares if Rose never loved you? Who cares?_  
She looked out to the sea and swallowed hard. _I need a fucking drink._

**++**

Lapis looked around, with her arms hugging herself. She was trying to look for horny, drunk people to beg her to go home with them. She wasn't in the bar. She was just standing outside of it. She never liked crowds of people, smothering her. She liked to be by herself. But it would be nice to have someone once in a while.

She had been standing there for at least 20 minutes, looking at her black sneakers. Maybe no one's drunk tonight. _Or maybe no one wants you tonight._

A bright yellow car drove by. Lapis looked up, and saw someone come out of it. Lapis' eyes glowed. _Holy shit, she's cute._ The girl had strawberry blonde hair, a hoodie, torn jeans, high tops, and a beanie on. Lapis blushed. She hadn't blushed in ages, or what Lapis would've called it, forever.

It only took Lapis a second to realise that the cute girl wasn't walking towards the bar. She was more like, storming towards it.

Once the girl saw Lapis, she gave a weak smile and walked in the bar. How strange. She was mad, but she still had the time to stop and smile at Lapis. In return, the blue haired girl only gave a smirk, but in her mind, she was speechless. _Why did she smile?_

 _What was that for?_ Pearl walked in the bar feeling slightly happier, but confused. Why did she randomly smile at that girl? She sat down, only to be greeted by a bartender.

The bartender wore green pretty much everywhere. She had blonde hair and some really nerdy glasses. Pearl read her name tag. Peridot was her name.

"So what d'ya want?" Peridot asked. Her voice was kind of an annoying one, but adorable at the same time.

"A beer. Strong one."   
Pearl didn't really know why she was ordering a drink anymore. After seeing that girl outside, her mood had been pretty much lifted. Maybe she should go talk to her. Maybe-

"Here ya go. That's $3"   
Pearl handed Peridot the money and took her bottle.

She took a sip. _Holy crap that's strong as fuck._ it was exactly what she wanted, a while ago.

Although she felt happier than before, all her happiness melted away as she looked down at the crimson coloured liquid. _All this for Rose._ She felt tears filling in her eyes again. She couldn't bother try stopping them. So she let the tears fall onto the counter.

//-//

Why was this girl so sad? Lapis couldn't help but peak in the bar to see the girl. She rejected 2 drunk guys, but for what reason, Lapis didn't know. She could've made money. But she wanted to see that girl again. She really did, but how would she encounter her without being a creep? Then she saw Pearl crying, she wanted to go in. She will go in. It was her chance.

One step into the bar and she realises she wasn't the only one aiming to talk to the girl. She saw..her. Jasper. Tall, muscular. Her ex.

She froze. All the memories flashed by. The knife threatening, the abuse, forcing her to have sex with her. _Nononono this isn't happening._

Lapis backed away. But she couldn't let her eyes let go of the girl. What was Jasper gonna do to her?

//-//

Pearl sat there. She had already drank half of the bottle. She's already feeling tipsy. She feels as if she wants to punch everyone. She felt someone tap her shoulder. She immediately turns around.

"Woah, slow down. I just want to see if you're alright."  
The voice was rough, low, and gruff.

"Im..I'm _fine_."  
She clenched her fist. _Leave me the fuck alone._ Pearl seriously didn't want to be talked to. Not right now anyway.

"Listen, why don't we go back to my place and talk about this? I can buy you a drink too."  
 _Is this bitch seriously trying to get me in her bed or something?_

"No thank you."  
That should've been the end of that, but that woman didn't seem to want that answer.

Suddenly a hand grabbed her wrist. The grip was increasing by the second, and it was starting to hurt. Pearl's panic started showing instead of her anger.

"H-Hey! Let me-"

"I'm not asking."  
She gave the coldest look to Pearl, now she felt like she was shrinking. 

Pearl felt sick, but she couldn't move. She swallows hard, in order to even say anything.  
"I'm not asking either."

Pearl just spat out a bunch of words. Hoping that this woman would let her go. The woman dug her nails into Pearl's smooth skin. She was really stuck now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the support, it really helps! :)


	3. Flashback

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis is having a flashback about her and Jasper's old relationship.

Lapis was still paralysed. Although she wanted to help the girl that Jasper was threatening, she couldn't bring herself to move.

Jasper used to hold her like that, forcing her into doing all sorts of things. Jasper used to pin her on the wall, telling her how useless she is. She remembers the first time Jasper forced her into doing something. She remembers..

 

It was a rainy day. The clouds were misted over their house and there were stubborn water marks, blurring their windows. Lapis was in the corner, watching the raindrops race down to bottom of the window as Jasper was shouting, more like chanting, about how useless she was.

"Whore" "Slut" "My toy" "Worthless" "Stupid bitch" "Psycho"

There were many more, but Lapis tried to block them out. It wasn't really that bad, it's not like it physically hurt her.

But it hurt Lapis mentally. Everything that Jasper would say, Lapis would bottle them up. She bottled everything. But no matter how much she's bottled, she can't help but wonder. _Is it true? Am I really a whore? A slut? Am I worthless?_

Then all of a sudden Jasper grabs Lapis by the waist, and practically pushes her on the bed.  
Lapis is scared now, why was she doing this? She's never done this before. Jasper demands her to take off her clothes, or at least that's what Lapis thinks she says. She takes them off, afraid of what Jasper is going to do. She starts to pressure herself onto Lapis. Lapis doesn't know what she's doing, but she just knows it's wrong, it feels wrong.

"Stop..." Lapis muttered shakily. But she keeps going.

"Jasper, I-I don't want this..p-please"

Now her voice was shaking even more. Jasper lifts herself up slightly, looking at Lapis, smiling at her evilly.

"I don't give a fuck about your feelings."  
Her voice was cold, and deep.

Did she mean it? Does she not care? She lays back on Lapis, stroking her half naked body.

"Jasper..I'm serious...please" Lapis felt chills going up to her spine, she had to do something now.

She shouts, using all her might to project her voice. "GET OFF OF ME JASPER."

Jasper stops. She blinks. The sudden voice shocked Jasper, breaking her out of her trance.

She immediately steps off of Lapis, and gives Lapis her clothes back.

"I'm..shit..I'm so sorry, I-I don't know what happened."  
Lapis looks up to meet Jasper in her eyes. She sees guilt, but at the same time, satisfaction. Lapis shudders. Her bones feel like as if they're about to freeze. What'd gotten into Jasper?

She didn't want to find out. She wanted out of that house. _Now_. She stops looking at Jasper and steps off the bed. She throws on her clothes, and takes her black leather jacket and walks outside.

There's nothing on her mind. She's in shock, what is there to think about? Lapis takes a cigarette and lights it. She inhales the dark smoke, and exhales it. She's scared. Scared to return back in the house, scared to see Jasper again.

_But, she said she's sorry? Well so what? She almost fucking raped you._

Lapis smothers out her cigarette and sits on the hard floor. She curls up. She can feel water forming in her eyes. She loved Jasper. How could she do this?

Out of the blue, Jasper walks out and sits next to her. Lapis isn't bothered looking up. She really doesn't want to see her face right now. Jasper places her arms around Lapis. She shivers.

"I know what I did was sudden. I just thought..you wanted it too. Please forgive me. It won't happen again." Now she's practically hugging Lapis, begging for forgiveness.

Lapis strokes her hair. "O-Ok..."

But it's lies. She done it again. This time, Lapis was powerless. Jasper had a knife. She sliced into Lapis' arm. And it's a scar. She grabbed her wrist really hard, and shouts at her face,  
"You're fucking useless! You're only good for a fuck. That's what. No one loves you, you fucking slut."

It seems that something takes over Jasper. But what, Lapis didn't know. At the end of it, Jasper apologises again, begging her to forgive her. That it 'won't happen again'.

And Lapis always forgives her, even though she knows it's a lie. It always reoccurs, no matter what Jasper says, no matter how much she denies it, it always happens again. Each time hurting more, each time, slicing into her skin with a cold steel knife.  
But Lapis always forgives her in the end. Not because she wants to, but because she's scared if she says no, Jasper will do something, not sure what, but she didn't want to find out.

Eventually, she had enough though. She collected a few belongings, her phone, wallet, a knife, her memories, and headed straight towards the door. She never looked back, there was no need to. That house only bought her pain.

She has no job. She's not good at anything. But then a voice in her head goes off. "You're only good for a fuck." She looks down to her shoes. _Only good for a fuck, huh?_

**++**

Suddenly she feels a tap on her shoulder to wake her up to reality.

"Excuse me miss, I need to get in."

"oh right, sorry."

Lapis looks around frantically, where was Jasper and that girl? Her eyes finally stop, only to see Jasper gripping her hand on that poor girl. She looks closer. To the other hand that's below the counter.

_Holy shit, is she holding a knife?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I have school now, so updates will be less frequent, buttttt I will still continue this on a daily/weekly basis!! It just won't be that long.
> 
> and sorry for that cliffhanger lol, I'll be sure to upload another chapter in a day or two, well I guess we know a bit more about Lapis now.


	4. In The Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pearl becomes severely injured.

It was. It was the exact same knife Jasper used to threaten Lapis, the exact same knife she used to slice into her soft skin. _nononononono, she can't do this again_. She had to do something, she had to do stop whatever Jasper was going to do, she had to.

She tried looking around, to see if anyone was either, willing to take Jasper on, or if anyone even noticed. But there was no one. Literally. Everyone was far too busy doing their own stuff, getting high, drunk, or flirting with others who aren't even interested, heck, even the bartenders are far too busy to serve anyone, let alone notice the crime that Jasper could commit if she wanted.

Lapis rolled her eyes. She had to deal with this herself, she had to-

"ARGH! WHAT DID YOU-"

Lapis instantly jolted her eyes to where that shriek was coming from. It landed to Jasper and that girl. No one looked. Only Lapis did. She mentally kicked herself. How could she let her thoughts take her away like that?

She saw blood pouring out on the side of Pearl's stomach, with Jasper's hand over her mouth, and grabbing her arm.

In a split second, Lapis sprinted towards the two. She was seconds away when the crowd smothered Lapis before she could make it.

"No! Move, move out the fucking way! I need to-"

Lapis was sure there were tears flowing out her eyes now. However she was committed to her mission, and she pushed as much people out the way, as she followed Jasper and the girl's footsteps.

//-//

Jasper dragged Pearl to a dark alley, or also known as the dark, creepy gap that was inbetween the bar and a cafe.

She released her hand from Pearl's mouth, and arm. Instantly, Pearl fell to the concrete floor and pressured her stomach. She felt dizzy, like she was about to pass out.

"Why did you.."  
Pearl coughed slightly, and looked up to meet Jasper's eyes. They looked like they were glowing. Maybe they looked like that because Pearl was pretty sure she was going crazy from all the blood loss.

"You should've just come home with me."  
Jasper looked down to her, and bent down slowly.  
"But you didn't."

She grabbed her by her shirt and pulled her closer.  
"So you brought this on yourself."

She threw her back, and Pearl hit her back on the wall. She groaned in pain, and Jasper stood back up, brushing the dust off her clothes.  
"Well, it's a shame. You could've actually been useful."  
Jasper spat on Pearl, before she walked away, only to give one last toxic look at her.

Now Pearl was alone. In the dark, with nothing but herself pressuring a deep, bloody wound on her stomach, and her dark thoughts.

She looked to the bleeding stab on her stomach. She groaned. _I'm gonna die._ Pearl was pretty sure of it. _But that's fine._ She felt a tear roll down her cheek. _It's not like anyone's gonna miss you, after you were being such a dick to Rose. To the only person who actually cared for you_. Then she stopped pressuring the wound. _Maybe this way I can die quicker._ She went in her pockets to take out her wallet. Her shaking hands took a photograph. It was of her and Rose. She made a faint smile before putting it back in its' belonged place. _I'm sorry Rose._ Then she sheds one more tear, before she closed her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh god, sorry I haven't uploaded. I was meant to a few days ago, but school was in my way. And sorry for the really short chapter, I'm not too good with words. 
> 
> Btw another cliffhanger hehe, I'll make another update soon! :)
> 
> (Also thanks for the kudos and hits, they really mean a lot)


	5. To The Rescue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> don't worry! Pearl's not dead...not yet anyway..

Pearl shivered as the winds grew harsher that night. _Why am I not dead yet?_ She kept her eyes closed. The pain felt pretty much numb, and she was still dizzy as hell. But not dead. Not yet.

For Pearl, waiting for her death seemed to be longing to happen. Or maybe because she was already dead? But she wasn't. She still felt the blood leaking out, she still felt the tear stains on her face.

Suddenly a door slam and a voice made Pearl open her eyes. She looked up to see who it was. It was too dark though. _Was it_ _that woman again?_ She tried to speak. _Is she back for more?_

"B-back for-"  
Pearl could barely spit a word before she coughed out blood.

"Shh..don't say anything. Stay still. I got you."  
That voice. It was so calming, so soothing. She was a girl, that's all Pearl knew.

Then she felt a gentle hand slide on her back to pull her closer to the mystery girl's chest.  
Pearl heard the person pull out a phone as she dialled a number. Pearl closed her eyes, as the girl spoke calmly.

"Hi, I need an ambulance. We are at a bar called Pub Of Gems. Yeah, it's located around there. I'm Lapis, Lapis Lazuli.."

Lapis looked down at Pearl. She moved her slightly so she could reveal her bloody stab. Pearl didn't flinch, she had no energy to. She heard Lapis sigh, and answer back a few words, to which Pearl didn't bother listening to.  
So Lapis is her name.

Lapis tapped Pearl slightly.  
"Hey, um, what's your name?"

Pearl blinked. She swallowed hard, and gave all her power to speak.  
"P-Pearl"

"Her name's Pearl..ok yeah. Come quick please, it looks serious."  
She closed her phone and shoved it her pockets before she laid Pearl back on the wall ever so gently.

"Pearl, can you open your eyes for me?"  
Pearl did as instructed. But she wasn't completely sure if her eyes were open since it was still too dark to see anything. However, her eyes are open since Lapis could see them perfectly. She had beautiful, bright, aquamarine eyes, although there were tears, and sadness in them. Lapis cleared her throat.

"Look, you need to pressure your wound."  
Pearl moved her shaking arm to the wound, but she could barely pressure it. She was far too weak.

 _Why is this girl helping me?_  
"No, you need to pressure it..literally."

"I-I can't" Her words faded slightly towards the end.

"Oh shit, well..ok..that's fine. Just stay awake, ok?"  
Lapis' voice was cracking. For some reason.

She took off her hoodie, and folded it, to pressure onto Pearl's stomach. It felt weird and painful to start pressuring the wound again.

It was silent between the two. Obviously Pearl couldn't speak, but the other girl remained mysteriously quiet. But without warning, Lapis spoke.

"I'm..I'm _so_ sorry."  
Her voice cracked once again, and the strawberry blonde was so confused.

"Why?" Now Pearl was pretty much whispering.

"It's just..Jasper."  
Pearl felt Lapis loosen up her pressure slightly on her stomach.  
_I'm guessing Jasper is the one that stabbed me. Well, who the fuck cares, I fucking deserved it anyway. I-_

"I-I can't believe she would..do that to _someone_ _else_."  
_What?_ Pearl felt wetness strike her jeans. _Wait, is she crying? And what does she mean?? What the fuck? Someone else?_

"Ugh when is that fucking ambulance coming?!"  
Lapis frantically wiped her tears with the back of her hand. She breathed in heavily to calm herself, She has to calm herself in a situation like this, she has to be strong for this poor girl. For Pearl.

But she wasn't strong enough. Not right now, not right when Jasper was hovering on her mind like this. Just knowing that Jasper could hurt someone like this again, scares Lapis. _What if Pearl isn't the only one she hurt?_

Pearl coughed. She desperately wanted close her eyes, there wasn't anything distracting to keep her eyes open anyway, all Pearl could see, was black.

"Please don't.."  
She coughed again, this one hurting her throat more.

"Don't..cry."  
Lapis wiped her eyes again.

"I can't believe it though! Why would she hurt someone as _innocent_ as you?! What did _you_ do?! What did-"  
The thought of it just made Lapis cry even more. She was broken, it hurts _so_ much. The memories, the idea of Jasper hurting someone else.

"I-I deserve it." _That's the truth. Please believe me._

"Are you _kidding_ me? It's _my_ fault. All of this."

Pearl raised her shaking hands to her stomach, to reach for Lapis' hand. She gave all her might to give it a tiny squeeze. Her hand was so cold compared to Lapis'.

" _None_ of this..is your fault."

  
Out of the blue, a loud high whirring sound was heard. Lapis jolted her head to see a huge van, with paramedics rushing out the ambulance. They had torches attached to the helmets on their head. Lapis gasped and shouted loudly, her voice still cracking a little.  
"Over here!"

The paramedics came rushing over. A man shined a light, bright enough so that Pearl could see Lapis and that Lapis could see Pearl. _Wait, she's the girl from earlier?_  
Lapis smiled to her as she wiped a tear with her arm.

"So it's Pearl right? And you're Lapis?"

Lapis nodded.

"Ok, well I'm Citrine, and you have to come with us. You should be wearing a jacket at least."

"Yeah, that hoodie on her is actually mine y'know."  
Lapis rolled her eyes as she stood up, letting go of Pearl, but not before she gives a light squeeze to her hand.

The paramedic grabbed Pearl's chin and turned her head. The sudden movement ached Pearl slightly. He shined a torch into Pearl's eyes. He made a sound of agreement, and looked down to her stomach. His eyes widened, as he summoned other paramedics to join him.

"You are quite strong to last this long. There is a _massive_ amount of blood loss.."  
He sighed.  
"Onto the stretcher guys, and band up that wound ASAP."

The others nodded, and proceed to lift Pearl roughly on a stretcher. Pearl groaned as the pain was sharp. They banded Pearl as they wheeled her into the van.

Lapis looked at Pearl worryingly.  
"Is she going to be ok?"  
Citrine turned to look at Pearl.  
"We'll see."

Before Pearl could glance back at Lapis, the van door closed, leaving her alone in the vehicle with a bunch of strangers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo, finally a little closure for that cliffhanger...btw Pearl held Lapis' hand, hehe..And leaving a comment or kudos, really helps me write. Thanks!
> 
> Also, the next chapter might take a while to upload. School is very demanding lately, and I got a hell load of stuff piled up, but that won't stop me writing fanfic! (I'll try my best anyway)
> 
> Btw I also edited this a bit. To make it more easier to read. (And i changed the guys name to Citrine, yknow, gems and stuff.)


	6. Waking Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Pearl wakes up in the hospital, Rose doesn't want to see her, but we'll see why later.

Rose picked up the 2 pink cups which made a clink sound as they crashed together. She looked suspiciously towards Greg. He had been acting all fishy since this morning. _Maybe you should ask if he's ok? You already did. No but, maybe he just needs his privacy. Maybe, but-_

"Greg are you ok?"  
The said man looked up to see Rose for a brief moment. Then looked back down onto the table.

"I just,"  
She placed the cups in the sink. She sighed heavily before continuing.  
"I hope it's not me."

"No!"  
The sudden shout made Rose jump.  
"I mean, no. I just, I...don't you think we should check on Pearl?"  
  
It was funny, how Greg wanted to see Pearl more than Rose. Although the two never had a friendship between them, Greg still had the decency to worry for her, especially after that tragedy.

But Rose, she does worry for her, after reading the news on her phone about Pearl being stabbed and Jasper being on the loose, Rose just doesn't want to get involved. It was all a bit too much for her.

"I don't want to."  
She was saying it more to herself than Greg.  
"I don't want to hear her ramble. She argued with me yesterday, Greg, about how you're always here and-"

"I know, but she's always like that, and you know that. She'll always come running back, you apologising first, then her after. She never really means it, Rose."  
He looked up to her, but all he saw was her back. She was too busy looking down to the cups than Greg.  
"Look Rose, aren't you concerned that she just got stabbed by someone, an utter stranger! Don't get me wrong, I know it was an argument but-"

"She didn't get stabbed by an 'utter stranger'!"  
Her loud voice drove the entire house to silence. Greg was stunned. Rose had never been like this. So..reckless. So..defeated.

He walked towards her. He held out his hands and reached to hold on to hers' tightly.  
"Rose..."  
He looked up to meet her eyes.  
"Do you know something that I don't?"

Rose looked away, tears in her eyes.  
"I.."  
She felt a tear roll down her cheek.  
"She got stabbed by Jasper."

Greg wiped away her tear.  
"How do you know? It only showed an image of her? She's not identified, maybe-"

"Greg please. I _know_ it's Jasper. I know for a fact, it's her. She has the exact same scar on her face, in the exact same spot-it has to be."

The man was silent. What could he say?  
"And you _know_ her?"  
He swallowed. A lump was in his throat, followed with a slight hint of fear.

Rose nodded.  
"She's..she's my _sister_."

Greg let go of Rose's hand to reach for his face. He wiped the sweat from his forehead and sighed.  
"How do _I not_ know her?!"

She shrugged.  
"I never talked about her. She's..not someone I'd like to mention. She's got a criminal record, Greg."  
She closed her eyes.  
"But at the same time, I don't want to hear others talk bad about her. She's _just_ got a temper, _nothing else!_ "

 _Just a temper huh?_  
"Rose. I understand. But, we have to see Pearl. Imagine how she feels."

she sighed. _Maybe I should._  
"Alright."

**++**

"--think she's waking up. Ok, thank you."  
_That voice is so familiar. Wait, Where the fuck am I..what's happening?_

Pearl opened her eyes, slowly. She felt a tight, secure grip on her hand. She looked down, as her vision finally became clear.

"Hey.."  
Pearl immediately looked back up, to be met by Lapis.  
She was sad. But she had a smile on her face. She remained holding her hand. After all, it's not like it meant anything..

"Um.."  
Her throat still hurt like hell. She coughed lightly, but remained to try and talk.  
"You're here?"

Lapis smiled.  
"Of course I am."  
_Are there tears in her eyes?_

" _Why_?"  
Pearl looked in her eyes. They'd been locking eyes for a while now, but neither of them seemed to notice.

"Your stab, Pearl."  
When Lapis mentioned her name, a slight tingle was felt in Pearl's stomach. A nice tingle, but Pearl decided to put that aside for now.  
"It's deep. And.."  
The grip on her hand tightened.  
"I told you."

Pearl raised an eyebrow, and leaned her head back slightly.  
Lapis sighed, and looked to their hands that were joined together.  
"I can't believe she'd hurt someone else..so..I'm keeping a close eye on you."

"You don't have to...But please answer this,"  
Lapis looked back up to meet her eyes.  
"Did she hurt you?"

Tears were appearing once again for Lapis. _Fuck, I said I wouldn't do this again! I'm so-_  
Pearl lifted her hand and Lapis' to place on her stomach bandage.  
"Did she hurt you like..like _this_?"  
Her voice was shaky.

Lapis felt a tear stream down her cheek as she shut her eyes tight. She didn't want to be reminded of what she did. She stroked the rough bandage on her stomach.  
"She... _raped_ me."

Now the tears were uncontrollable. And Pearl couldn't help but care, she sat up properly which ached her, but she couldn't care less. She took her other free hand and wiped the stray tears on her face. She pulled Lapis close and hugged her. There were wires inbetween them that were connected to Pearl, but that didn't stop them.

"Hey, hey, it's ok..well no, it's not. But, I'm here."  
Although speaking out really hurt Lapis, she also felt herself a bit more free. She smothered herself onto Pearl's hospital clothes as her tears soaked them. Pearl stroked her hair as Lapis gave soft sobs.

  
As she calmed down slightly, she raised her head from Pearl, and pulled back. She retracted her hand back and wiped away her leftover tears.  
"I'm sorry, I'm..I'm so.. _weak_."

Pearl grabbed her hand back.  
"No you're not. Lapis, you are _so_ wonderful, I don't know why you think like that. You underestimate yourself. And, I honestly don't know why."

Lapis gave a weak smile and tightened her grip.  
"Thank you."

Pearl smiles back, with an adorable tint on her cheeks. She hasn't felt so happy in ages. Even when she's around Rose... _Wait..Rose_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM ALIVE. Just so you know. Damn, I haven't updated in a while, so..I decided to (quickly) write this out. It's crap, but i haven't slept in 2 days, and my English is broken, so don't expect it to be good. Maybe I'll fix it up when I can.
> 
> Btw thanks for the support (hits, kudos, etc.) it really helps me write! (Literally) anyway, I'll see y'all next week or something.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose barges into the room, and Lapis recognises her. Pearl then realises they must've had a past together or something.

She jolted her head around a number of times, which in turn, made Lapis very confused.

"Is something wrong?"  
She strokes her hand, trying to get Pearl's attention.

Pearl looks back at her. She shakes her head.  
"Oh um..yeah, yeah I'm fine!"  
She looks around some more, gaining more confused looks from Lapis. She settles. _Why would Rose look for me anyway..I was such a dick to her._ Her mood drops instantly. She isn't so happy waking up anymore, she isn't so happy that Lapis was here with her. She sighs. _Rose really doesn't care._

"Are you _sure_ you're fine? Look I don't have to-"

She pauses.  
"No, no, I'm fine. I'm just..expecting someone. And anyway,"  
She holds her hand a bit tighter.  
"I want you to be here."

Lapis appreciates the warmth, but who is she expecting? She decides to shrug it off.

Now it's quiet. Silent, if anything. There's absolutely no noise, apart from the rhythmic beeps on Pearl's machine. Lapis looks at Pearl's face. She's so concentrated at the door. Lapis smiles slightly at how Pearl doesn't even notice her looking. She's so invested at the exit, that it's kinda cute.

Moments later, at what seems to be an eternity, there's fast footsteps, which volume increases at every step. Seconds later, a woman, tall with bright pink hair, charges into the room, followed by a man.

"Rose! This might not even be Pearl's room! You can't just-"  
A voice said breathlessly.

"It is!"  
The woman sits down next to Pearl, as she catches her breath. The man stands next to her, looking at Pearl, concerned than ever.

Lapis can't help but look at Rose. _It's her._ Her eyes widen, and she instantly looks at something else, something that's not her at least.

Rose's eyes locks between their joined hands.  
"I see you have,"  
She clears her throat.  
"Some company."

Pearl snaps out of her gaze from Rose.  
"Yes! Um-erm, Rose this is-"

"She's Rose Quartz."  
Lapis answered.

Pearl turns her head. _She knows her?_

"Wait..you-"

"Yeah, yeah. I know her."

She looks away, letting go of Pearl's hand, tears in her eyes. _It's the freaking bitch._

"How?"

Lapis swallows. Is she ready to even say this? She's doing it anyway, she's going to say it, once and for all.  
"..She's the one that never even tried-"

Rose doesn't let her finish.  
"Alright, look. This isn't the time for the past, ok? I'm here for Pearl,"  
She reaches to touch her blankets.  
"Are you ok?"

Pearl looks at the two repeatedly. _How do they even know each other?_  
"I mean, yeah, but-"

Lapis isn't going to let her get away with the truth. She just needs those answers. She needs the closure. To shut everything, everyone.  
"You did _nothing_. You just, you let her do those things to me! Those-"

"This isn't time for the past, Lapis."  
Her voice was stern. Pearl had never heard Rose so serious, so..angry.

Greg looks around, just as confused as Pearl.  
"Right, um I'm gonna go to the van, and um..Pearl, get well soon ok?"  
He stands up, and exits before anyone gets a chance to reply.

_Well he's gone..and he has to leave me with these two? Ugh._

"This is the perfect time!"  
She clenches her fist, as the tears reappear once again. She shuts her eyes forcefully.  
"I just, why? You practically let her  _rape_ me."  
Her voice was shaky, repeating those words again.

Pearl's eyes widen. She looks back at Lapis, frantically wiping her eyes. She reaches out for Lapis' hands. But she takes them back furiously.

"Don't try Pearl. You don't need this, you don't need me."  
She opens her eyes to be greeted by a pissed off Rose.  
"I don't need this either."

She stands up, zipping up her hoodie. Heading towards the door.

Pearl looks up.  
"Hey, where are you going?"

She looks back at Pearl.

"I dunno, to another man's bed? After all, I'm only good for a fuck."

Pearl raises an eyebrow. _Why is she saying this?_

"Go home, Lapis."  
Rose instructs.

"I _would_ if I had one. I lost everything...Because of your retarded-"

"Don't you _dare_ speak about her like that!"

"Or _what_ huh?! You'll get Jasper to fucking rape me again?! You'll get her to fucking stab me again?! To drug me? To-"

"That's enough Lapis!"  
Rose shouted.

Pearl takes her hands to her face. She's pretty sure the entire hospital, and probably even Greg heard them. They were so loud.  
"What the _hell_ is going on?! Lapis, you have no home?"

"Yes Pearl. I have no home. And do you wanna know why?  
She glares back at Rose.  
"Ask her."

Finally she walks out the room, and out the hospital. Damn, it was freezing..She shivers, and wipes the remaining tears, but continues her walk to..nowhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> damn, I feel sorry for Pearl, she's in the middle of this with no clue whatsoever about what's going on lol. Btw I'll (try to) update every Tuesdays from now on. Thanks to the people who's read this far! :)


	8. Let's Go Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bleh. I don't know how to explain this. I extended it a lil bit..but it's not as good as I hoped, so.. ;-;

Soon after Lapis left, a few nurses came into the room. They didn't seem to happy about what just happened, and well, Rose wasn't too happy either.

"So ladies, please mind that do we have other patients to worry about too. We do not have the time for such behaviour."

Pearl sighed. She didn't need this extra trouble. _I deserve all this anyway. But why is she so fucking rude to Lapis?_ She didn't mind if she was rude to her, but to Lapis, that's a different story.

"Apologies."  
Rose answers.

"You know, visiting time is over. You should leave the patient for some rest."  
And just like that, the nurses take their leave, and Rose sighs of relief.

She turns her head back to Pearl, who's eyes are shut lightly.  
"Are you tired?"  
She places a hand on her shoulders.

" _Quit it,_ Rose."  
She flinches, and moves her shoulders to get Rose off.

"Ahem? I'm trying to help."

"Help? You seriously don't think you've 'helped' enough?"

The tone on Pearl's voice surprised both of them. Who knew Pearl had the courage to speak like that? She's normally a calm, collected girl. _Why is she so pissed?_

"Pearl, don't be like this. You shouldn't be stressed. We want your wound to heal."

"Honestly? Rose, if you wanted me to heal, then maybe you would've thought twice before arguing with the girl that saved my fucking life!"

Rose was took back by the sudden curse. Had she done something wrong? As far as she was concerned, she was doing Pearl a favour. Getting that tattletale girl out of her sight. Out of her life.

"Jeez, why can't you just...why can't _she_ be here instead?"

 _Ouch_.

Pearl sighs as she runs her hand through her hair. She's so annoyed. Tired. She wants Lapis back. Which was absolutely ridiculous, she hardly knows the girl. But, she saved her life. She gave her the warmth, the love she needed to wake her up. The love? Pearl cringes. No, she can't. She can't possibly like a girl she practically just met? She can't just take advantage of this girl that saved her life. No, she can't let this happen. But at the same time, she can't let her go. She wants to make sure she's safe.

"Pearl. I'm sorry for this, but..she's just telling lies, honestly.."

"Rose, please..you _have_ get her back. I'm not letting her out, alone at night like this,"  
She swallows. "  
Do you really think she's just saying bull? Cause I-I definitely don't."

Rose almost laughs. She has a point. Why _did_ she take sides about this? Maybe what she was saying isn't really bull?

She didn't even know herself. All she knew was one day, Jasper came to her house.

  
It was a normal afternoon, sunny. Rose had just made herself some tea, after dismissing Pearl out the door. However, a knock, more like a bang was to be heard at the door. Rose approached the door, yelling, "I'm coming, I'm coming." She opens the door.

She sees her sister. The sister that lived literally across the road, but barely ever came to visit. She lives with her girlfriend, Lapis Lazuli. Rose had never knew her much, all she knew was that she was a lovely girl, polite, bright...At least she was like that at first. But for some reason, her partner wasn't there with her.

Rose steps aside, her actions telling Jasper to come in. As Jasper steps into the house, Rose looks at her clothing. It was wrecked. Torn, with a few stains on it. _Must be wine_. She looks closer. _It's a deeper red than wine though?_ She feels chills up her spine. She shakes it off, and follows Jasper into the living room, onto the couch.

She instantly relaxes herself, makes herself at home. She folds her legs over, and opens her mouth to speak. "That girl...Lapis, left me."

She said it in a very simple way. There were no 'buts' or 'becauses' which confused Rose. She takes a second to process what she says.  
"I'm..I'm very sorry."

She shrugs. "I don't really care. I just came to tell you that she's crying out rape."

Rose drops her teacup, causing it to shatter. " _What?!"_

"Again, I don't really care. She has no evidence anyway. Like-"

"You what?! Jasper please tell me you didn't.. _rape_ her."

Jasper rolls her eyes. "I didn't 'rape' her. It isn't rape if she _wanted_ it."

Rose stands up, and walks over to her sister. Did her own flesh and blood do this? How could she?  
"Are you _sure_ she wanted it Jasper? Please..tell me the truth..if she didn't want it then-"

"I mean, we're _together_! She loves me, I love her! Of _course_ she wanted it! She..."  
Her smile drops as Rose looks to the floor worryingly. Did she do something wrong?  
"You don't believe me...my own fucking sister.."

Rose's eyes jolt back up. "I-I do! It's just-"

Jasper falls onto the floor, hands together. "Please. Don't tell anyone."

Her sister looks at her. She strokes her hair. "Of course I won't," she bites her lip.  
"But are you _sure_ she wanted it?"

Jasper looks back up, with a slight smirk.  
" _Positive_."

**++**

Rose blinks her way back to reality. Back to the hospital room next to Pearl. She looks at her sleeping face. She must be exhausted. She strokes her face as a tear rolls down her cheek. _You really care for her, huh?_ She smiles, then swallows. Now she feels sorry for Lapis. Maybe shouting at her wasn't the best move after all...but her sister isn't a rapist..she can't be..she shakes her head. Right now isn't the time.

Rose stands up, leaving the room. As she walks down the corridor, she's committed to one thing.  
To get Lapis.

//--//

Lapis shoved her hands in her pockets as she finished wiping her tears. She exhaled a cloud of white steam. Tonight sucked. All she wanted to do was to see if Pearl was ok, to see her face again, to just have a decent conversation, maybe become friends. But even that failed. Well, no, not really. She _did_ see her wake up, she _did_ kind of talk to her, and she even held her hand. Not like that mattered though. The thing that did matter is that it still wasn't enough for Lapis. Maybe that's why it disappointed her so much. _Why do I have so high expectations? Jeez, did Jasper not teach you anything?_ Or maybe it was the fact Rose was there? _That woman. That-_

*BEEP*  
The loud noise made Lapis jump. _Now what?_ She honestly didn't feel like being in someone's bed tonight. She turned to where the noise was.

It came from a van. The lights shined brightly ahead of the vehicle, and it also burned Lapis' eyes.  
She brings up her hand, to block off the light. The van rolls down a window.

"Lapis is it?"

It was a man she couldn't recognise.

"Yeah.."  
She looks down to the floor.  
"Look, I'm not working tonight.."

He shifted back slightly, clearly confused.  
" _What?_ "

She turns red from embarrassment. _Of course he doesn't want me to screw him, oh god, why did I say that?_ But it's practically impossible to see since it's so dark.

"Nevermind..I'm just gonna go."  
She says, walking away.

"No wait!"

The girl doesn't listen. She continues to walk towards a bushy area, surrounded by trees, grass and benches. He groans. _Did I say something?_

//--//

Rose stands up, walking quickly out of the dim room. Surprisingly, she finds her way out, despite this being the first time being there. As she opens the door, she is greeted by a cold breeze, which in Rose's case, makes her want to go back in the hospital. She looks around. Where could she have went? Lapis could've went literally anywhere.

She walks, with her arms hugging herself. She should've brought a jacket. Suddenly a loud beep was heard.

"Rose!"  
It was Greg. Rose looked around, as a car drove right in front of her. He threw a jacket to Rose, and pointed to a bush after she had received it.

"Lapis went there. She doesn't seem to happy."

Rose gave a nod, and proceeded to walk towards the direction given. She wasn't very sure about this. Her and Lapis aren't exactly...friends. Well then again, she did accuse her sister. She moved the bush aside, but it quickly bounced back to its original position after Rose had let it go. The ruffle made Lapis turn around.

And there she was. Sitting there. Still as a rock. Giving Rose those death eyes. _Awkward..._  
She looks at her for a moment, but then shakes her head to stop from staring. She sits across Lapis, on the damp wooden bench. The girl remains to give her a cold stare, which makes Rose nervous.

_"What are you doing here?"_

The chill in her voice gave Rose goosebumps. Why was she reacting this way?

"Look. I just think.."  
' _Just'? Did I seriously say that?_

"What,That Jasper-"

"Can you seriously quit it with the constant 'Jasper' here and there?"

She shrugged.  
"I dunno. I'm just reminding you of how 'supportive' you were."

Rose rolled her eyes. _I'm doing this for Pearl, I'm doing this for Pearl.._ She breathed in slowly.  
"Look Lapis, I-"

" _Don't.._ say my name."

"Fine. Just hear me out. I-"

"You never heard _me_ out."  
Rose mouthed a 'what?' as Lapis continued speaking.  
"I said, you never heard _me_ out. I _begged_ for you to stop Jasper. After I left her."  
She scrunched her eyebrows together.  
"You told me to stay with her. You know that. You said that 'everything will be better' and that, 'it'll never happen again'. But no, guess what? It happened, over, and over and over again. I told you, but, you never fucking listened. So tell me Rose Quartz, why should I hear _you_ out?"

This time, the feeling on her voice clinged onto Rose. It was a question. A genuine one. 'Why should I hear you out?' The same words, quoted from Lapis' speech, echoed in Rose's mind. _Maybe Lapis wants to hear my side of the story?_ But it only made Rose angry. How dare she paint her sister like a bad person?

"I know my sister isn't a good person. But-"

The other girl scoffed.  
"Took ya long enough."

Rose snarked.  
"Can you just let me finish?!"

Lapis shrugged again, taking a cigarette out her pocket and lighting it.

"She isn't a good person, yes, I know, but she is trying! Our mom, you know, Pink, she was abusive...Lapis, what do you expect? I guess-I guess it just traumatised Jasper enough to think it was okay to hurt people."

"So..what,"  
She took another breath of smoke.  
"You think that your mom abusing her makes it _okay_ to hurt me? Have you forgotten that she _drugged_ me too? She said things, that were _beyond_ poison. She took a knife and..fucking _forced_ that blade into me."  
She took out a leather card that clinked when she threw it on the table.  
"She used that...exact knife."

Rose gulped. Did she have to pick it up? She did anyway. It was a fine piece of leather. She flipped the metal disc that was against the soft side of the leather and it revealed a sharp knife. She saw a familiar name. _Jasper_. The second her eyes landed on her sister's name, she dropped the knife.

"I'm going."  
  
Rose looked back up, to see Lapis burning out her cigarette on the ash tray laying innocently on the table separating them. She stood up after she was finished.

"No."  
Rose grabbed her wrist.

Lapis chuckled.  
"Well, isn't this familiar?"

"No please, just..."  
_Cut to the chase already.._ she sighed.  
"Pearl wants you to stay.."

"What? Out here?"

"No..in..in our.. _house_."

"Ha! Not a chance."

"Please Lapis, Pearl..Pearl _really_ wants you to."

Lapis rolled her eyes. _Seriously?_  
She took a while to answer. She _does_ need a place to crash.. _Might as well_..Eventually the words came out, a bit forced.  
"..You know what? Fine, fine. But I'm doing this for her."  
She said, retrieving her arm back.  
"Not you."

"Vice versa."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i tried extending the chapter though lol..I hope it's good enough. Nothing really exciting happens, but meh..Anyway, I'll see y'all next week. Thanks for the support too :)) 
> 
> All your Kudos and comments mean a hella load to me as well c:


	9. Chapter 9

The entire way home was a blur to Lapis. She remembers going into a van, and next thing she knows, she's on a sofa, with soft blankets on her.

For a second she wonders, was this all just a bad dream? Did she never actually see with her ex and save someone? Then she sees a picture of Rose in the corner of the room. Which makes her realise that this was still the harsh reality.

She sighs. She sits up properly to look around the room. Nice..she tries to smile, but it fails. She remembers those times when she woke up here. To hide from Jasper. But there was no point. Rose would always tell her sister where she was anyway. Then they would just sit down and, 'talk things out' and at the end of the day, Lapis would always return home with Jasper. Always. She never really knew why. She just did it cause she was.. _scared. Weak._

She shuts her eyes tight, and pulls the blanket up to her face. _Why does everywhere remind me of..her? Why can't-_

"Oh you're awake,"

Lapis jumped. She looks around the room to where the voice was coming from.  
Finally, her eyes land on Rose. She rolls her eyes. _Why can't she just leave me the hell alone? Son of a-_

She chuckles a bit before speaking again.  
"I made you some tea."

Rose places a cup onto the table next to her. Lapis doesn't say anything. She just looks at her. Coldly.

She sits up, and grabs the hot mug from the table. She doesn't drink it yet, but she admires the smell and heat from it. She forgotten what it felt like to waking up and having someone care about you. _Care? No, Rose doesn't really care, she's only doing this for Pearl._

The two sit in silence for a while..Before Lapis spits up a sentence.

"I want to see Pearl."

Half of her did, half of her didn't. She knows that Pearl would probably ask her what happened last night. And honestly, Lapis cant be bothered talking about the same things over and over again. She was done fighting. She mainly just wanted to get out of the house. Out of Rose's sight.

Rose's eyes widen.  
"Um-yeah..but, don't you want to get some rest first?"

Lapis rolls her eyes.  
"Don't act all nice on me. I know that you hate me."

"I don't hate you."

Rose looks down at the liquid sitting in her cup. Tea normally calms her down, but that wasn't working today.

"Oh yeah? Well you.."  
She pauses herself. Is arguing with Rose really worth it? No. It's not. She just wants to lash out on someone. And what better person to do it than with Rose? The one who's never even helped her, the one who's always stuck by her stupid excuse for a sister instead.

"Well you what? You have something to say about Jasper again? Listen Lapis, she is a good person, _okay_?! She is my sister, and honestly, you are really pissing me off! You probably _deserved_ those things she 'did' to you. You never have anything good to say. "

Lapis glares back at her.  
" _What_."  
She stands up, and walks towards Rose.

Suddenly, Rose feels pale. she regrets saying everything.  _Why did I say that? Oh god, I just ruined every-_

"You really think I _deserve_ the years of bullshit your fucking sister gave to me? All that rape, all that drugging, all that stabbing! God, you are seriously an utter bitch!"  
She stops to wipe her tears. She doesn't even remember when she started to cry again.  
"If you think I really deserved that..well..you're no better than her."

Lapis goes over to the table and collects her belongings. She is _not_ taking this. And Rose isn't stopping her. She knows she screwed up big time now.

When she bends over to tie her shoes, there's random heavy pounding on the door.

Rose bounces up from her chair. She heads towards the door to avoid another awkward second with Lapis.

Rose opens the door, and sees her sister standing there. She is at a loss for words. She groans inwardly. _Why now.._

Jasper looks at her sister with a smirk.  
"Hey sis..can I come in?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for missing out a few days, I've been ill for the majority of the week. 
> 
> Can we also just talk about how awkward it is when people in your school find out about your fanfic? Lol, anyway just wanted to say thanks for 1000 hits! Never thought I'd ever make it this far. 
> 
> Hopefully this chapter isn't too short, and I wonder what'll happen to Jasper next week? (I don't even know what's gonna happen.)
> 
> Thanks for all kudos, comments and everything! It's literally the only thing that keeps me motivated to write.


	10. Closure?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I initially wrote two versions of this chapter, one being that Jasper leaves, and not being a baby about it, or this one, where Jasper DOESN'T leave, and well...I'll let you read on c:

Rose froze. In her mind, she was imagining how it would all play out. Jasper barging her way in, seeing Lapis, and possibly making the just-welcomed guest leave without a word, and never to be seen again. Rose wouldn't blame her if that happened. She knows she has strong hatred towards Jasper, it was as obvious as the sea being made of water.

_No, Jasper cannot come in, how would Lapis react?_ _She'd just leave, and never return, and probably hate my guts. I've already screwed up so much, Jasper being here won't make things any better.. Why is Jasper here anyway? Honestly, right now isn't even the time, right now-_

"Are you gonna let me come in?"  
That wasn't even a question. It was more of a..friendly demand.

Rose gulps, and scratches her head, hoping that it would clear the awkwardness floating in the air.

"Rose. Answer me."

"Um..no, not..now.."  
She gulps. Jasper probably isn't even gonna believe her. She's just gonna barge in and-

Jasper squints her eyes suspiciously.  
 _"Why?"_

"Um, well, me and Greg were..."  
 _Ohh, how am I even going to finish this sentence?_

  
Lapis swore she heard her voice. She's definite. But why is she here? _Well, she is her sister._ But why now? Did Rose call her when she was asleep? Does Jasper normally come here?

She shakes her head. Right now isn't the time to ask questions. She needs to get out now. And fast.

She looks frantically around the house for a swift exit. A door. But the house wasn't the same as before. A few things were replaced with completely different items. She never remembered Rose playing a guitar. Or even having a fencing sword.

Then there are loud, slow stomps, followed by fast footsteps.

_Crap, I need to hide. No, that's ridiculous, I need to-_

" _Lappy_."

That nickname. Time stops. She remembers when Jasper used to call her that. Especially when she was sorry. The adrenaline runs through her body loudly. She remembers when that the nickname was sweet at first. She would call her that whenever she asked for small favours. Like, getting a cup of coffee for her. Singing her to sleep. Sweet talking her. It was innocent, everything was innocent. _Was_.

Next thing she knew, that nickname wasn't even near sweet anymore. It was used for strict demands. For mocking her.

"Jasper, I can-"

"Shut it, Rose. You never even told me she was back."

_Back?_

The second Lapis turned around to face her, she regretted it. She got pulled back harshly, not knowing where to, and it was worrying at first, but then she had a soft landing--the sofa.

She tenses up immediately, as soon as she realises the person who pulled her down was... _her._

Rose does the same. She can't believe she just, let Jasper barge in. She could've stopped her. _Should've_ stopped her. But now she's in her house, sitting next to Lapis. She could pounce any second, she could do _anything_ she wants.

 _This is okay, this is okay._  
Rose repeats to herself.   
_Jasper won't do anything, she isn't like this, she isn't..she won't. She's a good person._  
Why is she even telling herself this? She was 101% sure that Jasper is innocent. What makes her so unsure now?

Rose stares at the two, cramped together on the sofa. It seems so small of of a sudden.

Lapis looks terrified. Afraid. She was clearly uncomfortable, as she grabbed handfuls of her own shirt and kept scrunching them repeatedly. Rose also noticed how she would do almost anything to not look in Jasper's direction, she'd look at the corner of the room, look back at the floor and up at the table, or even close her eyes. Not that she blames her.

Jasper however, looks as if she's been waiting for this. Like she's been waiting for her since her birth. It's scaring Rose slightly. That she's giving Lapis that look. The smirk that's always stamped on her face. At that instant, an awful thought flashes across Rose's mind.

 _What if she did do those things to Lapis?_   
Rose was sure before, but now..she doesn't even know what to believe anymore.   
_But Jasper won't do that, she won't hit someone, sure, she's not exactly a goody-goody, but she still has at least a little sense in her to not harm anyone. Right?_  
Then again, how could she be so sure that Lapis isn't actually lying? Maybe she was right before, maybe Lapis _is_ lying. But how would she know?

Rose looks down to her palms, questioning herself in her mind as silent fills the room.

"I've been waiting for you for so long, Lappy."  
She says her name in a very taunting way. Almost as if she was doing this on purpose.

"...leave me alone."  
Lapis' voice was nothing compared to the woman sitting next to her. It was quiet, shaky.

"Why? You know you want me here."

Lapis puts her palm to her face to stop the room from spinning. Rose too starts to feel ill. This isn't the Jasper she knows. This is someone entirely new. Someone she didn't want to get involved with.

"I _never_ wanted you here, you just came here. You..."

"I _what_ Lapis? Come on...you know you want to just come back. I want you to come back."

Jasper slips a hand over the girl's shoulder, and pulls her closer. Lapis does nothing. She can't do anything. All she can do is just go along with it...but, she doesn't like it one bit, she can't do this, she can't..she needs to say something, she has to.

"I don't-"  
Her voice grows weaker at each word she somehow manages to spit out.

"You do! You wanted every, single, bit. I don't know why you left. Did I do something?"

Rose can see Lapis trying to be brave. Trying to fight the tears, trying to be strong. And now..now she can see how toxic her sister can actually be. The fear on Lapis' face, is real. Was always real. And Rose was such a fool to not believe her before.

"Jasper. You need to leave, now. I am not letting you _harass_ her any longer!"  
The command almost sounds as demanding as her sister's. And this time, Jasper is the one who feels speechless. Who knew Rose had it in her?

Lapis looks up in surprise. Is Rose actually on her side? The fear boiling in her stomach fades. There's finally someone who actually believes her, there's finally someone who cares, that's not just Pearl. She's not alone.

"Harass?! Overreacting much. I'm just telling her how much she wants-"

Jasper gets taken aback as Lapis pushes her way out of her arms, and stands up, straight and tall, fearlessly.

"You don't know what I want Jasper! Stop saying that I want you! I _don't_ want you, I never have! You were _always_ just a fucking prick to me! You never gave a fuck about me, you just-you just took advantage of me whenever you got the chance to, and you _still_ think I want you?!"

Jasper crosses her arms, finally driven speechless.

Lapis keeps her eyes glued to Jasper. She isn't afraid anymore. She feels a weight-lift as she finally told Jasper what she needed to hear. What she should've heard a long time ago. She can finally glare back at her coldly, and not feel vulnerable and.. _weak_.

That should've been the end of that but, no. Not yet. Not until Jasper has her last word.

The woman stands up to reach eye level to Lapis.

"You think you're _so_ amazing. You think-"

"Jasper-"

"Shut the fuck up Rose.. I'm talking to this stupid bitch. How she thinks she worth something. How she thinks she can scare _me_ off? Well guess what, Lapis fucking Lazuli? You're nothing but a useless, mother-"

"Jasper Quartz! Get out of my house this instant!"  
  
Her sister sucks through her teeth and heads toward the exit. Lapis follows, to shut the door of course.

As Jasper walks out and reaches the doorstep, she turns to face her ex.

"You're going to regret this."

She walks away, and as she disappears through the thick fog, Lapis slams the door, and exhales loudly.

"What a bitch."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *in LSP voice* oh guys, drama bomb! 
> 
> Anyway, that was pretty intense. So, basically just to sum things up, Rose is now agreeing with Lapis that Jasper is..well, an utter *BLEEP* (don't know why I'm censoring considering I swear a lot in the fic but, oh well) and, don't know when the next update will be, it'll just be whenever I can. AND, sorry for not updating in like 7182 years. (Btw I have no idea where this is going)
> 
> So again, thanks for all the kudos, hits, and comments. Like everyone else, your feedback matters a crap ton to me, so it'll be beyond awesome if you send me a comment below, it'll help me write next the chapter more quicker ;)


	11. Needed

Lapis exhales, feeling a huge weight lift.

Walking back in to the living room, she sees Rose.

Rose looks destroyed. Like someone just fired her from her job and kicked her out of her house on the same day.

Lapis fiddles with the tacky leather on Jasper's knife.  
"Hey.."

Rose meets the girl's eyes. Lapis can see the bright red vessels filling up her usually bright eyes. Suddenly, she feels sorry for her. Strange, since that's never happened. Lapis walks over to sit next to her.

She bites the chapped skin on her lips. Finally, the woman beside her answers, biting back sobs between her words.         "I...I guess I don't have a sister anymore."

Lapis darts her eyes over at Rose. She can see smudged makeup on the sleeve of her sweater. She can see her sniffling, and holding back more tears threatening to spill out. She can see pain. And one thing flies in Lapis' mind. _She's as broken as me._

Not knowing what to do, Lapis throws both arms around the vulnerable Rose. She mutters a quiet 'sorry' as she too, holds in her emotions.

It was hard to believe that this was the same Rose that had yelled back at her own sister.

A few seconds into the hug, Rose pulls back harshly.  
"Oh _god_ \- I'm sorry - I shouldn't - I have to go."

Confused, Lapis raises her eyebrow.  
"What?"

Rose shakes her head. "I'm sorry, I just,"  
She sighs.  
"I'm okay. Thanks."

Lapis opens her mouth, but before any word could fall out, Rose rushes out of the room, and out of the house.

~+~

"Then I slammed the door."

"Well..I mean..it's over, isn't it?"

It's true. It _is_ over.

"I guess you could say that.."

Pearl looks over at the clock, ticking across her room.

"It's getting late. Will you come visit tomorrow?"

"Yeah, yeah okay..bye."

Lapis throws her phone on the bed, and slams her head on the pillows, that muffles the sound of her groan.

Maybe Rose heard her, she didn't really know - she didn't even know she was back. All she knew is that she walked in, at that exact moment. The two hadn't even spoken since yesterday, and here she was; barging in her room.

Rose strutted over, and like last time, had two cups of boiling tea in her hand. She places one down on Lapis' desk.

"Tea calms me down."

Lapis raises herself from the pillows to look at the cup, sitting on her messy desk.

"Thanks."

She removes herself from the pillow and sits up, leaning herself against the headboard. She picks up the hot pink mug from the desk, and cups both hands over it, absorbing the heat.

Their silence returns, heavier than ever.

Breaking the heavy silence, Rose speaks.  
"So..about yesterday.."

Lapis doesn't really want to answer - she literally walked out on her yesterday when she hugged her. _Hugged_ her. She is not the one for any close physical contact, especially with Rose, and Rose knew that. Lapis looks back down to the tanned liquid sitting in the cup. It looks so peaceful. There are no ripples, no unmixed milk, no air bubbles floating at the top..it was what it was; a cup of freshly made tea.

Rose waits for an answer.

When realising there is none, she speaks once more.  
"Look, I'm sorry, okay? I just..I didn't want to look so..weak."

Lapis looks up, suddenly interested. She's the one who normally called herself weak. Not Rose.  
"Uh, what."  
She stares at Rose like she answered something extremely incorrect.

Uncomfortable, Rose shifts.  
"I just said -"

"No, I know what you said. But, _you_? Weak? Are you serious?"

Rose pauses.  
"What do you mean?"

Lapis scoffs.  
"I'm the one who's weak. I cry pretty much everyday about.. _her_. And you cried, yeah, but not nearly as much times as me, Rose."

"Lapis..."

"No, don't 'Lapis' me. Do you know how worried I was? I thought I broke you yesterday after you left! I..I felt _so_ bad."  
She clenches the pillow next to her.

"I...I'm sorry, really..I just..I just really needed Greg, and, and.."

Lapis eases the grip of the pillow. Rose just didn't want her. She wanted Greg instead. Nothing else.  
"You're right,"  
She sighs. _Why would she want you anyway?_  
"I'm sorry for...making a scene."

Rose blinks, surprised Lapis just dropped a potential fight.  
"It's..okay."

~+~

Lapis walks toward the coffee machine. One and a quarter sachets of sugar - brown - and no milk; Just how Pearl likes it. She pondered in her mind about how precise Pearl was. She remembered when she bought Pearl a cup of coffee, and when she tasted it, it was safe to say that the look on Pearl's face meant she probably spat it out when she wasn't looking. Apparently, it was far too sweet for her; even though Lapis had only added two sachets of plain white sugar.

As soon she heard that the machine had stopped pouring out the liquids, she added the ingredients carefully, and stirred it. Once finished, she pressed the lid on firmly, and shuffled her way to Pearl's room.

"Thank you."  
Pearl's eyes brightened as she received the hot beverage.  
"I need this."

Need. Suddenly, she remembers yesterday.   
_"I just really needed Greg."_

"Um..Pearl?"

Pearl made a muffled sound as she replied, still sipping the coffee. She removes the cup from her lips and clears her throat.  "I mean, yes?"

Lapis bites back a laugh as she continues.  
"I..nevermind,"  
Pearl gives her a confused look. Lapis adds.  
"It's okay, it's not important."

"It _is_ important if it makes you question me."  
Pearl places her coffee beside her, which makes Lapis feel more awkward.

"No..its..really stupid."  
Lapis scratches the back of her head, trying to avoid the topic.

"Lapis."  
Pearl gives her an are-you-serious look.

Lapis sighs. Feeling dumb, she mutters a quick response.  
"Do you even need me?"  
Then adds,  
"I know it's stupid."

Lapis covers her face with her hands, fearing Pearl's reply.  
"Yes it _is_ rather stupid."

Lapis answers back a muffled reply.  
"I told you-"

"Like..I need you because..um..well.."  
Lucky that Lapis can't see her right now; her face is possibly more hotter than the coffee on her desk.  
"You're..you're pretty much the only person who's ever cared about me other than Rose..and well..now that Rose has Greg, she - she doesn't worry about me anymore."

Lapis removes her face from her hands. Which is what Pearl doesn't want.  
"Why not?"

To Pearl's luck, her face returns to normal temperature - for now. She scoffs coldly.  
"Greg. Since Rose went to his concert, it's always been about him. She wouldn't talk to me for an entire week because she was too busy with him. And when we did talk, it was only about him. About his singing, his looks, his amazing personality, his..everything. And well..I just didn't matter anymore."

Lapis looks at her, maybe for a moment too long because Pearl looked back, and raised her eyebrow a moment after.        "Oh, I..I'm sorry. I just...is that why you went out to drink that night?"

Pearl gulps. "Yeah."

Lapis looks down to her own cup of coffee; with one splash of milk, and one or two sachets of sugar - white.               "Well...If it makes you feel any better,"  
Her face flushed lightly.  
"You matter to me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas everyone! This is probably my last chapter (of this year) and, I have to say, it's pretty decent since I only spent about 20 minutes writing it. I really wanted to post something, especially since it's Christmas.
> 
> I'm still needing to catch up on some work, but hopefully that won't take too long, cos I mean, it's the holidays. 
> 
> Thanks again, and I'll see y'all in the next update! c:


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis bumps into someone.

_No way._ Lapis was definitely not flirting with her. _Then why does it feel like it?_ Pearl said to herself. She mentally kicked herself. Why is she even thinking like that? Thinking like that could make her lose Lapis; she'd already lost Rose. She didn't need to lose anyone else.

She smiled, squeezing Lapis' hand.  
"Thank you."  
When did they even start holding hands?

Lapis felt the corner of her lips tugging to form a smirk.  
"No problem."

~+~

The walk back home was terrifying. Mostly. It was extremely dark; the only light source being Lapis' phone. The blue haired girl hated how the hospital was literally ages away from the house, and with money being scarce, Lapis definitely did not want to spend any hard-earned cash on bus tickets.

But then again maybe she could? After all, it will be spent wisely since she's seeing Pearl. She'd do anything than walk in the eternal darkness of the city. She remembers when -

Lapis turns her head.  
"What the f.."

_Weird_. She would've sworn she heard something.

She plugs in her headphones, already feeling scared. Although Beach City was her home; she still wouldn't ever walk home at night. Or when it was dark. Beach City was an entirely different place when it was dark. There were stoners, drunks, and creeps. The last one was Jasper obviously. She felt a sharp tug on her shoulder, enough to knock her down if she wasn't prepared.

"What the _hell_ do you want."  
Lapis made sure to drown out the shakiness in her voice.

She looks around frantically. Until her eyes drop on him.

Malachite.

"Hey..you wanna..get outta here?"

His voice was slurred, and his jacket was practically dangling off of him. His rarely worn glasses were crooked and he looked like a mess. Not like the young boy she'd last seen him as. She ruined him. It was all her fault. If only she hadn't-

Lapis shakes her head violently to erase all thoughts. "Fuck.." was all Lapis could say before she bolted away, heading towards the nearest building.

Lapis sighs of relief. She escaped him. She looks around to her surroundings. _Oh shit_. She was in a bar. The last place Lapis wanted to be. But the only place open at this time.

She rolls her eyes. At least it wasn't a packed bar.

Making herself welcome, she walks toward the counter. _Just drink one thing, then get outta here._

Lapis didn't even know why she wants a drink. Maybe she needs it. Yeah..she does. She really -

"You gonna answer me or what,"  
The bartender waves a hand to Lapis' face.  
"Hey lady!"

"Oh fu-I mean duck, I er- I...beer please."

The bartender rolls her eyes as she bends down to, probably a mini fridge or something, to get the requested drink.

Lapis wipes the ball of sweat from her head. She hasn't felt so pressured in ages. And by ages she means since she'd last seen Jasper.

The girl bounces back up from the floor as she drops the bottle in front of Lapis.  
"$3"

Lapis shuffles through her pockets until she drops a note in the server's hand.

"Jesus Christ, I said _$3_ , not _$100_ "  
The bartender bursted out laughing as Lapis blushed furiously. Not the proudest $100 she earned.

"Right..I..I need change anyway so.."  
She shrugged. Hopefully the reply didn't raise any suspicions.

"Damn, I know this is my job but,"  
The purple haired girl shuffles through the cash register.  
"I'm not prepared to find $97 in here in less than 2 minutes."

Lapis bit her lip. She doesn't want to spend even 2 minutes in here.  
"Just..you can give me $70, and I'll be out."

The girl's face shifts into confusion.  
"Okay, you seem more desperate to get out than I am."

Lapis takes a gulp of the drink.  
"I'm not I just -"

"Yeah sure,"  
She places a few bills and coins on the table.  
"$97. I'm literally pretty sure that, _that_ ,"  
She points at the money.  
"Is more than my pay here."  
The server laughs.

"What, seriously?"  
Lapis could feel herself getting a little tipsy. She was never a strong drinker. She could literally even get drunk with only a sip of Vodka.

"Yeah, my boss is literally favouring my girlfriend, Peridot, instead of me. He always says,"  
She puts on a mock voice.  
" _Oh Amethyst, you shouldn't get a higher pay than Peridot because she serves more than you."_

"Wow..what a dick."  
Lapis shakes her head.

Amethyst chuckles.  
"Tell me about it."  
Wiping a wine glass, she continues the conversation.  
"So..who are you running from again?"

Lapis' eyes widened. Does this even count as 'running away'?  
"I...well..this guy called Malachite."

Amethyst raises an eyebrow.  
"Oh, _Mal?"_  
The way the name comes out of her mouth, makes Lapis cringe.

"Oh _great_ , you know him."  
She takes another gulp.

"Yeah, he always comes round with his friend, Jasper, on the weekends. He's not a..bright guy, I-"

Lapis almost spits out her drink.  
"Uh what?"

Amethyst shrugs.  
"I said -"

"No, I know what you said. But..him with.. _her?"_

Amethyst laughs a little.  
"I'm afraid I have no clue what you're talking about. I take it you guys have some sort of backstory, huh? Bitter exes maybe?"

"..You could say that. _Not_ the exes part though."  
Another gulp.

"Ohh I'm intrigued."  
The girl smirks.  
"Care to share?"

Gulp.  
"No. I..I should get going,"  
All the fun from Lapis seems to have drained.  
"Thanks."

Lapis downs her drink and lifts herself from the seat.

"Aw, alright. Well, me and Peri work here all the time, so..if you still wanna share some juicy backstories, you know where to find us."

Lapis nods and forces a smile.   
"I'll keep that in mind."

Sighing, she heads towards the door, hoping that Malachite was gone.

~+~

Lapis didn't even know how she found her way home. She was sure that she'd almost gotten herself ran over three times, let alone still remember how to even return back to the house.

She drops herself on a bed, her head spinning like crazy. She groans quietly as she reaches out to massage her temples. How strong was that beer?

Suddenly a knock on the door makes her jump.

"Um..Lapis.."

Lapis waves her hand in the air, slurring each of her words.  
"I'm busy, go away."

Rose straightens herself against the door.  
"Are you _drunk?"_

_She's pissed._  
"...Maybe."

Lapis hears Rose sigh.  
"I'll go get some paracetamol and water. Try not lie down."

"You don't tell me what to do."  
Her words continue to take a while to form.  
"That's all you Quartzes have done. _Tell. Me. What. To. Do._ "

Rose sighs again.  
"Please don't make this difficult for yourself. Please sit up, Lapis."

Suddenly willing, Lapis does as told.  
" _Happy?"_

"Quite."

With Rose gone, she looks around the room. However, the room continues to spiral around her, so she closes her eyes tight again. She hears a loud clatter of metal, followed by Rose cursing.

"I'll pick that up later."  
She places down a glass of water, and a pill, just like she promised.

"I have..a killer headache."

"That's why you have to drink this, and eat the pill."

Lapis opens her eyes slowly, as she sees a blurred cup, probably water, accompanied with a pill.

The girl laughs coldly.  
"Oh my god, another Quartz tryna drug me!"

Rose rolls her eyes, slight anger filling her voice.  
"Lapis..please, just..eat the medicine, and drink the water."

"Hmmm, as long as it gets rid of this uninvited pain."

Rose hands her the items.  
"Yes, yes it will."

Lapis downs the water and swallows the pill. Surprisingly not spilling anything with her shaky hands.

Rose sighs of..relief?  
"Okay, great. Now get some sleep, and..uh..I'll see you tomorrow."

Lapis shuffles around the blankets.  
"Okay.."

"Good, I'll just be doing some.."

Rose's voice fades out slowly as Lapis drifts into a deep sleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, 2017..So, my friend helped me out with the next storyline, (with Malachite and all) and all I can say is, buckle up. 
> 
> See y'all soon!


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis' past with Malachite is revealed.

Lapis rubs her eyes as the sun disturbs her slumber.

"Ugh.."  
She groans as she feels a sharp pain on the side of her head.

She looks around. This was definitely not her room. She turns to the side of her table. Lapis picks up a crumpled note next to a cup of water, and another pill, probably more paracetamol.

_I filled up your water and you can have the paracetamol next to it if you still have the headache. I'm out with Greg to check on Pearl, and speaking of Pearl, I found you in her room last night. I was going to get you out, but you were really drunk, and I was pretty sure you wouldn't puke or make a mess of her room, so I left you there._

_-Rose_

Scoffing at this, Lapis drank the water and took the pill, she hadn't been this hungover since last Christmas. A text alert had rung in her phone, prompting her to check it. It was from an unknown number.

Lapis scrolled through her phone as she became alarmed at the missed texts. It soon revealed to be Malachite. How did he get my number? Each one as they descended becoming more and more violent like the crashing waves of the beach; they reminded Lapis of the person she used to be. _Weak_.

It had been a lifetime ago since Lapis and Jasper lived in the Seafront apartments, their lives were starting and the both of them made the worse mistake ever. Adopting Malachite.

It simply started with a brief idea of adopting a child; this was during their honeymoon stage. The next thing Lapis knew, they were already signing papers, and the brief idea already became their reality.

Lapis wasn't even sure she was ready at the time. But Jasper kept repeating,   
_'We can finally be a proper family. We'll go through this together.'_  
With her partner's reassurance, Lapis signed the unread forms, and the new teen, was in their hands.

She remembers when they first entered the house four years ago:

They saw Malachite busily fidgeting with a chain bracelet. His hair was wavy and unruly, his posture unhealthy like a centaur resting. The social worker smiled at Jasper and Lapis as they sat at the table.

"Now, to go over the last of the papers," she said as she handed out the forms on the table.

Lapis took them as she looked closely at Malachite's arms which they were scarred.   
"I don't mean to be intruding but what happened?" she whispered to the social worker who sighed.

"Malachite's from a very notorious criminal family, his father who was called 'Biggs', was really abusive and as for the mother, Lacey, she was a mad drunk," Lapis looked forlorn, she reminded herself of her childhood past where she was locked in the school's dusty old supply closet by her fellow pupils.

The room was full of mirrors and there was nothing to look at other than herself as those names she'd been called kept reflecting back into her mind.

"Look! It's the _water bitch!"_  
was what the bullies would repeat day in and day out in those hours she spent in that tomb called a school.

"Ms Lazuli?, you seem tense?"

Lapis woke up from that requiem and drank some water from her mug. She forced a smile.  
"I'm fine, it's just I had a really bad childhood too. I was bullied" she admitted.

The social worker nodded compassionately and empathised her trauma.  
"It's a normal but real problem that teens face on a daily basis. I mean I'm sure Malachite would appreciate you two as parents, especially as he and Ms. Quartz knew each other already,"

Lapis was then confused. "Wait, _what?"_

She turned to face Jasper, who was looking into the distance.   
"Jasper? You _know_ him?"

Jasper didn't answer, she just nodded.   
"Lacey was a childhood friend of mine, and I promised to look after Malachite if anything bad happened."

Lapis couldn't believe it. Her trust with Jasper had broken once more like it always had. Was this all just another cheap trick? Of course it is. It always had been, and it always will be.

After a few hours, Jasper had remained distant throughout the whole talk and had made up some excuse to leave. Lapis was angry at this, all this talk about having kids and it was for this reason?

_Seriously?_

She only had to guilt trip her to say yes. And of course it would work. Besides, Jasper knew how easy it was to persuade Lapis. Persuade. Was it really all just innocent persuasion?

After a long while of discussions, the social worker had departed the room, which left only Lapis and Malachite alone in the room. He was looking out the window as he watched the social worker drive away.

In an attempt to bond, Lapis went over to Malachite with a box of comics she brought back from her house for him.   
"Hey Malachite,"   
she smiled as she laid the box next to Malachite, he didn't heed; as he continued to fiddle with his chain bracelet. Maybe he didn't hear her.

"I've got some comics which I hear you quite like,"

Malachite chuckled as the social worker disappeared off the distance.   
"Like the ones Bismuth and her friends used to bully you for?"

Lapis froze, how did he know this? Malachite then got up and walked towards his room.   
"By the way," he added as the door opened.   
"You'll never be strong enough like Jasper to be my parent."  
He then left as Lapis was still left reeling.

It had almost been after 7pm when Jasper returned to the apartment. She was covered in a alcoholic stench, which meant she came from the bar, again.

Lapis sat quietly at the sofa, angry at Jasper's demands and her foolery. She sent Malachite to the local chicken shop to get some dinner while she deals with Jasper.

"What?" asked Jasper as she noticed Lapis glaring at her.

Lapis was never more angry in her life.   
"What happened to our 'proper family?' The one where we go through it together?"

Jasper ignored this and went over the cabinet to get more alcohol. She was clearly ignoring Lapis.

Gritting her teeth, she continued.  
"You didn't tell me you planned to adopt Malachite as soon as Lacey went to the asylum, and you didn't tell me you've been meeting with Malachite and telling him about my personal life?"

Jasper laughed, she didn't care.   
"So what, no harm done." she apathetically replied.

Lapis couldn't believe what she heard.   
"No harm done? What happened to no secrets? And no lies? I guess you only use it whenever it benefits you."

"So what are you saying then?!" asked Jasper as she slams down her drink on the table.

Lapis then shown her bags calmly. "I'm leaving."

Jasper choked on her drink as she laughed.   
"Leaving? What-"

"Jasper, you just fucking told a, what, kid, about my life. My _personal_ life. And you just used it like it was some kind of bed time story. Why would you think I'd be okay with it?"

Now this was interesting. Jasper sniggered.  
"It's not even that serious, Lappy. It's literally just about your school life, Mal was just worried about the new school, so I just explained that it won't be as bad as yours and,"  
She takes another swig of her drink.  
"Well, it helped him."

Lapis rubbed her head in confusion. Was she just overreacting?  
"I..Jasper, this is _my_ life. I mean, you could've at least asked. I..I would've respected that."

Jasper scoffed, as she opened another bottle of tequila.  
"Respect? Rich coming from you."

Even though it was getting harder and harder to understand Jasper's slurred words, she could still hear every phrase.  
"Excuse me? I give you res-"

Jasper waved a hand.  
"Oh, shut _up_ will you? I'm busy. By the way, we need to buy more fucking beers. We're running out."

Lapis huffed.  
"You. _You_ need to get more beers."

Biting her lip, Lapis picks up the small bags and heads out. Not very sure where, just somewhere that wasn't here.

Opening the door, Malachite stops her tracks.  
"Malachite, I-"

The boy looks at her bags, then back at Lapis quizzically.  
"You're leaving, aren't you?"

Lapis was rather surprised with the sudden softness in his voice. Maybe Jasper was right. It was only just to encourage Malachite, right?

"I..."  
Lapis too looks back at her belongings. She gulps. "Don't take it personally, Mal."

With a sudden burst of rage, Malachite drops the bags of food.  
"Don't call me Mal! You're about to leave, and you have the _nerve_ to call me Mal?!"

Lapis gently places her bags on the floor and places a hand on his shoulder.  
"Okay, relax Malachite. I just, need to get away from Jasper."  
She looks to the ground.  
"I need to."

Malachite shifts away from her hand, clearly still furious.  
"Look Lapis, I know I was mean at first bringing up Bismuth, but please. _Please_. You can't leave."  
His voice lowers.  
"Jasper isn't..gentle with things. Please. Don't."

Tears start to swell up the boy's eyes, and Lapis instantly feels guilt.

Sighing, she places a hand on his shoulder again.  
"Listen Malachite. I can't do this anymore. I can't...live with her, and her constant...drinking, arguing, abuse, I..just can't."

"And you're leaving me with her?!" Malachite rubs his eyes with his sweater. His sniffling and crackly voice only makes Lapis feel worse. "I'm done with people leaving me, Lapis. You can't leave me, you just adopted me. Please. Don't go."

"Malachite-"

Malachite clenches his fists. "Don't go. Lapis, I need you and..I need you to be strong. Not..weak."

Lapis laughs coldly. "But that's who I am. I'm weak, and I always have been since I started being with Jasper. It's time for me to strengthen myself, you know, Malachite? I'm _17_. I need to build myself back up while I'm still young and able to."

Malachite sighs. "Can't you..take me with you?"

Lapis' vision blurs with tears. She really can't deal with anymore. She reluctantly grabs the boy she feared earlier and hugs him with all her might. She smiles lightly as she feels Malachite's tense body relax. Still hugging, she speaks in a quiet voice. "I really want to. But I can't, Malachite."  
Before the boy could push her away, she continues, "I..I'll visit you, okay? And-And I swear, she won't do _anything_ to you."

The boy pulls away slowly and holds out a pinky.  
"...Promise?"

Lapis gives a watery smile and wraps her pinky around his.  
"Promise."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thanks to the co-writers! Phone_Writer actually contacted me through tumblr to help me with the storyline, and Orangempikachu, (tumblr user) literally took my device and started writing the storyline himself lol. This was a long damn chapter, but..definitely my favourite one.
> 
> So thanks again, and omg 2000 hits. See y'all soon!


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